Prayer

Oh God,

My life is forever changed. My heart is utterly devastated and broken and my spirit is crushed. I am so tired, but I can't rest. When I try to sleep I have nightmares and then awake in a panic to find that my bad dreams have now become my reality. How much more will be taken from me? I don't know how much more heartache I can stand and I admit that I am angry at you because I don't see that you've protected me. I am so scared. I had plans, hopes, and dreams for my life, our life, and now I just can't see even beyond this very moment. I am filled with regret for my past and dread for my future. I am so sorry for the ways that I have failed you and my beloved. I am afraid of loneliness and the uncertainty of my life. I'm afraid because now I am solely responsible for my life, without a job, and too tired, upset, and depressed to even find one. I miss the one I was supposed to grow old with, Lord. I can't stop crying. Just when I think I'm starting to regain composure, fresh tears flow. Oh God, I've heard that you protect your daughters. So please protect me. Give me a sense of peace and comfort. Please let me have joy again some day, along with new hopes and dreams. Please don't let me be lonely forever. Help me to not be bitter and to one day heal. Give me strength, Lord. Oh God, show me what to do and walk with me.

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40:1-3

Favorite Things: Leopard Print Crocs

I was recently told by someone close to me, who shall remain nameless, that I can't stay depressed forever. I then replied to my mother (oops, cat's outta the bag) that, "Yes, I can and I probably will." Then I was reminded that I was not being very mature. Touche. So here is a feeble attempt to bring just a small touch of normalcy, or at least the new normalcy, into my life.

So anywho, I love Crocs. Like, I really love them! Like, I own several pairs in various colors. In fact, I joke about someday growing up and buying a pair of shoes that aren't plastic. Truth be told though, even if I was a millionaire, I would still buy Crocs. I would buy every style in every color. Yup, that's what I would do.

Then I laid eyes on these magnificent round toe, leopard print, slingbacks and oh my gosh! I must have them and someday soon I probably will.